Severe autism is an embedded part of my life. My son and I live it. We breathe it. It is in every thought, every decision. Writing about it is very hard for me. It makes me focus on negatives a lot. For my sanity, I prefer to focus on positives. I suffer from anxiety and depression. Focusing on negatives has a way of pulling me into a mental bog that is very hard for me to escape. I had to walk away from this blog for that reason. There were other places that people could find the answers they need.
But at the same time, I'm seeing other parents getting pulled into that bog. And it hurts me to see them getting trapped. Yes, our lives have hard, difficult, brain torturing moments. But our lives also have so much beauty.
A friend has asked me, many times, to write this blog. Her focus was/is on how it could help other families looking to home school their disabled kids. But that topic could fill an ocean and still leave all of outer space to fill as well. Because our children are all beautiful and unique in their own ways. As a result, they all learn in different ways. And I am not skilled in teaching many, just one. One unique male person.
The same can be said of what I might start posting here. The ideas may not work for your family member. But maybe they will give you a jumping off point or ideas to work with. I am, maybe, sometimes, an expert in one unique male who is coping with severe autism and several other issues. But from what others have said, I have a unique way of looking at things. And please, share your unique ways of dealing with different issues as well. Maybe together we can create a resource for others that are fighting on their own. And we can provide them with alternate views of their family members and what their lives can be.
Most of my focus will be for adult with severe autism. That is what I know. That is where I see a severe lack of support for caregivers and families. All I can provide is words and long distance hugs, and the awareness that you are not alone, but if it can help one person then I will do it.
Please be aware that these ideas may not work for your unique person. And most definitely may not work well with those who are not on the severe end of the spectrum. Wherever, whenever possible let the person you are helping guide you and the path. Not to their detriment, nor to yours, but in a balanced way that lets them grow and learn while keeping both of you safe and sane. You will likely be surprised.
Some days my son can handle everything that life throws at him within his zone and use the skills he has learned. Other days, I am the shield because he can't. Sometimes I'm the cattle prod, reminding him to use his skills. All of us, abled/disabled, have days like that. His are just a bit more problematic than mine. Most of the time. And some days, when my day has just knocked me on my rear and I'm fighting my way back to my feet, my son gives me a hug, or a kiss, or does something completely silly to make me laugh. Because he knows and wants to help in the ways that he can. And some days, we both have a Horrible, No Good, Rotten Day. That is life.
Do you have some sanity you can share? It is in short supply around here some days. And nobody seems to have any to spare.
