By Request - Don't Give Up!

It's been a really long time.  I honestly didn't think I was ever going to come back to this because "real" life has gotten so busy and hectic.

But a friend confronted me.  She asked me to restart this blog, even if it was only little tidbits here and there.  Apparently there aren't a lot of blogs about autism and homeschooling.  And, whether I realize all of it or not, I've been through a lot over the past decade or so that might help out some other families.  And, last but definitely not least, a lot of autism families are trying homeschooling and are scared.  So I will try.

So today's subject, because it was one she and I were discussing, is Don't Give Up.

My son is nonverbal.  He has been nonverbal since he regressed while a toddler.  It's made life interesting.  I was always good at reading body language and all of my skills (and then some) have been used to try to help my son.  But he resists using communication boards or devices.  Instead he invents his own ways of telling me what he needs occasionally falling back on the "scream my head off" method.

While he was attending school he had a few "words" that he would use frequently.  And another smattering that he would use rarely.  Every once in a rare while I would see signs that he was trying to communicate more.  When I pulled him out of school we spent 6 months or so figuring out where his actual skill level, in all things, was and letting him "destress".  Activities were designed to be fun (still are) and he was allowed all the time he needed to blow off steam between activities.  I also avoided environments that contained his headache triggers as much as possible.  Which meant we only did grocery shopping once a month and didn't stay in any store more than 30 minutes with at least 15 minutes between stores.  I've actually learned now to just sit and wait in the van.  It's rarely even 5 minutes before he's pushing me to get out and get moving.  Such big changes.

Anyways, back on track, his rare words started to become daily words.  And they are much clearer and defined.  And then the rare bursts became new words and two word sentences.  Then two word sentences became much more normal and the rare bursts became new words and three word sentences.  Almost always, the new words fade and only pop back occasionally.  But the rest stays over time.

He now understands the concept behind conversing and applies it with all the words at his disposal.  And his body language.  My Munchkin can definitely dish out some sass when he's in the mood.

So why "Don't Give Up"?  Because a few days ago a blog came across my feed about a Mom fighting to get her child to speak.  All of the experts that she dealt with told her that if it didn't happen within a specific time frame, it wasn't going to happen.  And she was stressed about it.  I found it depressing because we are way out of the listed time frames.  So I just accepted that it was what it was and kept moving on.  I figured that, over time, I would find a way to get Munchkin to use a communication device.

I'm not going to give you the time frames that were listed though.  Because my loving, puckish Munchkin just completely blew them out of the water.  For the first time in his life he said a complete, appropriate, fully enunciated sentence.  5 words.  One contraction.  It once again proved that while he can't always get the words from his brain to his mouth, he thinks in completely appropriate expressive language.

Don't let the "experts" define what your child can, or can't do, because I promise you: Each of our kids are separate individuals.  They will come into their own, in their time, not ours, not the experts'.  My son has the body of a teenager and the mind/soul of a 5 year old.  Actually it may be further along but we don't have the communication tools yet to bridge the gap.  Have faith in them, show them ways while watching for the ways that they create.  Whatever you do, don't give up.  If you won't stand by them, no one else will.