Tickle Me!

It's been a rough couple of days at the house for me.  Not for Mark.  Mark has been doing very well. 

I was amused to discover that this is Spring Break week for the regular school system.  Note that I didn't know and we aren't taking a "Spring Break".  Mark has done much much better with a schedule that involves at least two school activities every day.  In fact, if we take days off it's much harder for him to come back to task for a couple of days.   This includes weekends.

Each day typically has much more than two activities.  In truth the minimum we do is three.  That normally occurs on the day that he has swim fellowship.  And swim fellowship normally makes it easier for him to get through the school work.

Word ID is still a problem.  So I'm adding to it in new ways.  We will still do the basic word ID cards.  But we are now in the process of making a set of cards with the word traced with glitter glue.  Mark really likes this activity, both the making and the using the cards later.  Next we will do a set with sand.  And one day we will be making a sand tracing mat.  Another day we will make one with thickened paint.  Mark definitely focuses more on an activity when he has had a part in making the tools we use so hopefully this will help him with words some.  And the glitter & sand add a texture to the cards that makes more of an impression when we are tracing the words.

Oh, and Math.  That's been the biggest surprise.  While Mark is still showing prompting issues with Word ID, he seems to have snapped out of it with math.  He can now hand me 1, 2, or 3 blocks/stickers when asked.  I'm stopping here for a bit and expanding the skill for him.  So he is learning to match items to the numbers (ex: 2 sticker with the number 2).  He is learning to count things in general life, like muffins for breakfast or items in the grocery store.  He is learning to count anything I can get him to count.  I want to help him make this skill as broad spectrum as possible as early as possible.  Mark isn't so sure that he likes that idea.

And the "Tickle Me" popped out, clearly and loud, this morning when Mark decided he wanted me to pounce and play with him.  I was standing at the side of the bed and had asked him "What do you want me to do?" since he had pulled me into the room and then climbed on the bed.  So he got tickled.  And he tried to tickle back.  And the smiles and laughter were golden.

And More Words....and Mischief

The talkative streak is continuing. 

An event that truly surprised me occurred yesterday evening.  Mark apparently decided that he wanted me to wear a different color of dress.  I have two spring dresses that I love to wear.  They are identical except one is dark blue and the other is a purple/magenta.  Yesterday I was wearing the dark blue dress.  During the evening Mark appeared with the purple/magenta dress which he proceeded to drape over me.  Then he started to push the straps of the blue one off of my shoulders.  I froze for a second as my mind processed everything.  Then I gently caught his hands and looked him in the face.  I asked him "Mark, do you want mommy to put on the purple dress?"  Mark promptly looked me in the eyes and said "Yes." This is amazing on so many levels that I don't even know where to start.  But it gives me very good hope for Mark eventually communicating at least some things with words. 

No, I didn't change dresses.  I did explain to him that I wasn't going to change but maybe I would wear the purple dress tomorrow.  He apparently was ok with that since he didn't try again.  And that had been his second try.

And an earlier event that was just as wonderful - Mark pulled me to the bed for a tickle match.  He promptly wrapped both my arms around him, looked me in the face and said "Got me."  To which I responded "Yes, I've got you."  And then hugged and tickled him.

At another point he was being noisy and mischievous.   I looked at him and he looked back and he said "Quiet".  I said "You are not being quiet." (I was grinning.)  He looked at me with that sly/sass smile and said "I'm quiet."  (And he was being anything but quiet!)

It's not just that Mark is using words.  Or even that he's using them appropriately.  It's the level of comprehension of both receptive and expressive language skills that he is showing now that has me so amazed.  It's that understanding of me vs. you that is popping up.  It's the mischief that accompanies it.  It's that the words are complete and distinct, not half sounds.  I have fingers crossed that we can somehow help him to break the block he normally seems to have on those skills.  But I am just flat out astounded at the things being revealed by simple phrases and sentences.  And I honestly pray that it keeps growing.

Words, Words, and more Words

Wow!  Mark has been talkative today.  Along with his normal collection of words, he's been spouting lots of new random sounds. 

Then he pounced me and asked for "More".  In fact, he chanted "more, more, more" for several seconds.  So he got "more" rice krispie treats.  A yummy made for our, now moved, camping trip.

And then he pounced me again.  And while holding me said "Got you".  Not gotcha.  But a full "got you". 

Thought you all would cheer as much as I did.

I've got to go rescue the rest of the rice krispie treats now.

Spring Fever

Spring fever has hit.  Mark has decided, for himself, that every moment that is not spent in lessons should be spent outside.  And a new behavior has popped up - Mark comes and gives me random hugs.  Just out of the blue I will find him coming up and giving me a big hug.  He doesn't want anything.  He doesn't ask for anything.  He just hugs me and then runs off.  Occasionally, he has me follow him outside to the trampoline.  I love both behaviors and look forward to losing enough weight so I can join him on the trampoline.

And TV watching is drastically reduced.  It's gotten to the point where it might be one movie a day.  Yesterday there were no movies.  And that happened several days last week.  And this is Mark's decision, not mine.  He'd rather play outside than sit inside.  In fact I got scolded thoroughly one day when he wasn't allowed to go back outside (punishment for not coming when called multiple times).

Math is doing much better.  1 and 2 are pretty solid, so I'll be starting 3 tomorrow while reinforcing the others.  Oh, and he's not really happy that I am asking him to count things around the house.  Today he shot me a grumpy look and I told him that math was every where in life.  That just got me another grumpy look.

Reading is still having problems.  We are using multiple books at the same level because we are having to hold where we are at right now.  Spelling is much better but he's having real problems with Word ID.  Even with candies as rewards.  A lot of this is him falling back into prompting behaviors.  I'm taking it slow and steady.  He is asked to ID a word up to 3 times, with the words getting shuffled each time.  If he gets it in one, he gets a candy.  The words are sorted as he gets them.  In one try, they go in one pile.  Within 3 tries, they go in another pile.  Never, they go in a third pile.  When we are done he has to trace the "never" pile on his board two times.  And then trace the "within 3" pile on the board once.

While he's getting better at tracing, he's not happy about it.  And probably would love to avoid it.

Next week I'll start keeping more detailed data sheets on counting, spelling and word ID.  I'll need that data as we go forward in order to know where his strengths and weaknesses are.  And so that I can see which words might be best to start making him truly spell without guides.

Oh, and yesterday he pointed at one of his cards and said "Right there" in response to my request for a word.  He was wrong, but I loved hearing him say it.  And this morning I got told to "Do it" (tickles).

So far, spring fever is doing good things here.  Even the onions, garlic, and potatoes are jumping up to say hi.  I hope it's bringing good things to you.

Happy Birthday!

Did Mark have a happy birthday?  Well, I think so.

First please realize that Mark doesn't understand what his birthday means.  I try very hard to make sure that he knows he is loved every day.  And there's not really a way to do that even more on his birthday.  And I don't consider an excess of gifts to be a way to show love.  Not to mention that an overload of gifts sends him into overload.  But, as always, I did sit him down and explain that on his birthday, all those years ago, I was given a special and beautiful gift.  And that gift was Mark.

And we did go to WalMart and stock up on the Dri-Star shirts that he loves so much.  So now he has plenty to wear throughout the week.  And we went to the pool and exhausted ourselves.  And he got to watch his favorite movies as many times as he wanted.  And he got to eat one of his favorite dinners.  And even better, to him, was that there was no school work on his birthday.

But he is still dealing with a painful outer ear infection.  So he was a little bit slower on the move than normal.  And spent a lot of time just laying around.  But he was happy, giggling, and bouncy - so I'm going with the idea that he had a good day.

And next week he gets to go camping!

Jinxed!

If you had been in my house the last couple of days you would already understand.

First, Mark now has an ear infection.  It looks like it's outer ear from swimming.

And second, probably because of the pain from the ear infection, lessons have been full of full scale screaming tantrums and meltdowns.  Especially when we got into dealing with Mark's prompt dependency.

I jinxed myself with a prior post.  I think I'll be more careful from now on.  Jinxes like that are not something we need.

On the positive side, Mark very definitively gave me 1 or 2 cubes today depending on what I asked for.  If he's still got it down through next week we will move on.  Fingers crossed here.

A Little Light Around The Edges.

Do you know how light leaks out from around a closed door into a dark hallway at night?  That's the feeling I get about Math right now.  The door is still closed but something is starting to show.  Maybe a 20 watt behind the door, on the other side of the room.

We finished the number two cards and have started working on both numbers 1 and 2.  And the old behavior has immediately popped back up.  He consistently expects me to tell him to stop in order to get the answer right.  And I don't.  He could stop himself when we were working on just 1 or just 2.  But as soon as I started working both of them together he reverted.  So we spent a good twenty minutes (probably longer) today working on just one or the other.  I finally managed to get him to do the one twice in a row without any help, then the two.  He is majorly confused as to what he keeps doing wrong.  And I can't find anyway new way to explain it or show it.  So we keep repeating the activity.  It's as frustrating for me as for him but we are just going to have to keep working through the frustration.  I know that he can learn it.  He did get it right a few times.  So we just have to keep going until he realizes what it is that he is getting right.  Ahh the joys of teaching my child.  And I love him so we will keep going.

One of the interesting twists on this is that most of the time, if presented with a quantity, he can pick the correct number.  Say 60% of the time, which is really good for him.  It's just the opposite that he can't get most of the time.   The plan is to have this skill up to 90% by August.  Not sure if it will happen but I am sure that we will increase the percentage by then.

Pray that the door opens for him soon.  It would save him so much frustration.

And despite problems with school work, he is generally happy.  He was a little frustrated today since the weather kept him inside.  Not many ways to work off extra energy inside but we did do a few extra crafts and games to keep him active.

Schedule

Ok, I said, in an earlier post, that we are not following a strict schedule for multiple reasons.  But I do have to tell you that we are now following a loose schedule. 

Since no subject has been any easier, or harder, for Mark based on the time it's done I now try to get us through most of our subjects before noon.  On swim days this changes because swim is from 10am to 12pm.  And it will change on field trip days as well.  But for most days, we get up and do one subject immediately.  Then Mark gets a break, typically a long shower and breakfast.  Then we do another subject.  And then Mark gets another break, typically a half hour to just play around.  And then a third subject.  After that he can run free.  Those are his three major subjects: reading, math, and science.  And each session is a minimum of a half hour.  Handwriting is an afternoon "fun" activity.  And then there is another reading session just before bed, which is just reading a book not all the added activities.  And on good weather days, there is a long walk to work on safety behaviors.  On bad days we work inside on hygiene stuff.  And the three heavy subjects are not done in any particular order.

In addition, when we are out and about, I bring up things more often.  For example, counting 1, 2, or 3 of an item.  Or reading words that are on the current site words list.  Or field trips that go along with our science.  Or just home activities that go along with science - like planting.

Now the reason for the change was because sometimes we were doing so many other things that we ran behind in getting our school work done.  And I found us spending late afternoons/evening trying to catch up.  Some days that wasn't a problem.  But on days we had spent running errands we were both very tired.  And my patience was typically running a little low.  So if we get things done before we do anything else then there's nothing to worry about if we are running behind or tired later on.

And of amusement, Mark is still giving "tantrums" but they are not anywhere near the level that we had been seeing all year.  Typically now a "tantrum" consists of Mark pushing his chair away and laying on the floor while grumping at me.  And he promptly gets back up and in the chair when told to.  As far as I can tell he just feels that this is the only way he can express how much he doesn't want to do an activity.  But he understands that he does have to do it.  And since I have no problem with him expressing his feelings, and he's not being violent about it, I'm leaving it alone.  As he learns to use the XOOM more I will work on getting him to express his feelings with it.  But it is amusing to see how carefully he "throws a tantrum" now.  And the expression on his face when he throws it.

And on a positive note, very positive note, Mark has not gotten sick since we stopped going to school.  And his headaches only occur now when we are in a store for too long.  I'm still working on figuring out the timing there but it may also be linked to how many stores we've been in or the size of the store.  So there are variables that I have to look at.  But lately only WalMart & Publix have triggered headaches.  And Publix was a short visit, but after multiple other errands hence the need to examine the variables.  But those headaches seem to fade within half an hour to an hour.  All in all that's a much better situation then the headaches that kept building and getting worse throughout the week.

And he said it again!!!

I got Mark to say "go outside" one more time today.  So despite difficult lessons, I'm still dancing on clouds.

Words

Verbal language is difficult for Mark.  In truth, we rarely hear more than a small collection of words from him.  At the end of last year he started saying "Quiet".  And he uses it appropriately 99% of the time. 

Mark uses Quiet to tell me that he wants me to be quiet.  He uses quiet to tell me when he things he's going to be told to be quiet.  He uses quiet to tell me when things around him are too loud.

To encourage Mark in using words, I always respond to what he says.  Even if I'm not going to do it.  For example, when Mark tells me quiet while we are working on a lesson.  He typically does that if he doesn't want to do, or continue, the lesson.  My response is basic.  I say "I know you want me to be quiet, but we need to finish this first."  Another example is when Goliath barks at something.  Mark will look at me and say "Quiet."  And I will look at Mark and say "Yes, Goliath needs to be quiet."

Now Mark has other words but he goes long periods of time between volunteering them.  He will say them when asked.  (A lot of times he will say a different word, then say the first word when you ask for another word!)  But he doesn't volunteer words often.

Today, Mark not only volunteered a word, he volunteered a sentence!  I gave Mark the choice between taking a shower or going outside.  Both activities are very favored by Mark and since he had done great during math he had earned a reward.  Initially, he chose both.  I told him that he could only choose one for right now.  So he looked at me for several long moments and then said "Go outside".  I wish I had a picture of the stunned look that I am quite sure was on my face for a couple of seconds.  But then I recovered and said "Go outside.  Okay, let's go!" while giving him a tremendous hug.  And then a couple of seconds later I recovered enough to look him in the eyes and say "Good talking."

And I think Mark surprised himself.  Or was surprised that saying it worked.  I'm not sure which.  But he seemed surprised that I immediately went and opened the back door so that he could play outside.  And several times he came up to me for hugs.  Maybe he made a good connection that will help with future talking.  I hope so.  But regardless, I'm dancing on clouds today - just because of two words from my wonderful son.

Our Days

Two posts in one day!  Yup, there was just two much for one post without it becoming too long and meandering.

I wanted to share what our days are typically like, and some not so typical days.  For example, yesterday we did school work, but we also went and spent a large chunk of the day with family.  One of the nice things about homeschooling is its flexibility.  And I'm using that flexibility to break Mark of his fixation on absolute schedules - again.  So far, honestly, he hasn't had much trouble with it now that his days don't exist as a rigid schedule.

So, the atypical day, using yesterday as an example.  We got up early.  Before breakfast Mark changed the calendar and put the date on the whiteboard.  After breakfast we did handwriting exercises.  Those were coloring (holding the crayon correctly), building letters on the magnet board, and geoboard.  Then we showered and went to meet family.  While with family, Mark did puzzles on the XOOM, about 10 of them.  And that was really the only task he did during any of that time.  After we got home, about 6 hours later, we sat down and did reading.  Then about a half hour later, we did Word ID and spelling.  After dinner we did Math.  It was a very busy day, yet we got everything in.

Today most things will be done by time kids get out of school.  We started with reading and Word ID.  Then after a break, we did Calendar, Spelling, Handwriting, and Word Building.  After lunch we'll do Math.  And probably more Handwriting.  And later in the afternoon, we'll do our safety walk and Science (magnets).  In between all of this Mark will play outside or in his room.  And he's doing good with this.

Now, we don't typically do the same things at the same time, or in the same order, every day.  I will tell Mark what we are doing beforehand, and sometimes set a timer, but I am not keeping things the same.  For multiple reasons.

The first reason is because we spent a lot of time, when Mark was younger, making sure that he wasn't fixated on schedules or specific procedures.  This is a problem for most children with autism and we didn't want it to be a problem for him.  Unfortunately, in the last couple of years it has popped up as a problem.  Mark became resistant to any changes in what he perceived as his regular schedule.  He also became resistant to going to new places.  Fortunately, this seems to have been a relatively quickly fixed issue.  He is now typically happy to go places and handles the "randomness" like a champ.  He now only has issues with going out if we have been running around a lot for two days.  On the third day he won't want to go, but he does if necessary and is good.  But I can't blame him.  Two days with lots of running around is my limit as well.  And while school can be scheduled around trips, the trips make us more tired.  Well, except for swimming. 

The second reason is because I want to see if a task is easier for Mark to concentrate on at a different time of day.  For example, does he do better at reading first thing in the morning or after lunch or just before bedtime?  So far I haven't found any patterns there but if something pops up then I'll try to use it to help him.

The third reason is because Mark needs to learn to do the tasks when and where asked.  So if we are at Grandpa's house, he still needs to do the task.  If we are at the grocery store, he still needs to do the task.  Ect.  This helps Mark in a number of ways.  Most importantly, it teaches him that the skills he is learning are to be used everywhere.  And it also teaches him that he needs to do the task regardless of who is present, and regardless of what time it is.  Eventually I'll start asking others to request tasks from him so that we can get him doing tasks regardless of who is asking.

But all in all we have typical days and easily get through our school work.  And that's a good thing for both of us.

Working Independently

Life is settling down for us and yet still busy.  I hadn't realized that it has been a week since my last post until I got here to post.

Things are pretty much the same.  Mark is having real problems with the "no prompting" and "no hand over hand".  Whenever possible, I don't prompt at all.  When I do have to, I start with simple verbal.  I don't physically prompt him at all if it is possible.  And so far, despite his protests, it is possible.

My solution for the letter tracing in the Fisher Price toy was simple.  We are using stencils until he gets the idea.  I will fade each stencil throughout the week until he's doing the letter on his own.  If necessary we will take two weeks.  Frankly, we will take however long Mark needs to be able to do the task independently.  The focus isn't just learning how to shape the letters but for Mark to be able to work independently. 

Mark working independently is the overarching focus throughout every task.  Now, my definition of independently is simply that Mark does the task without anything more than simple verbal instructions with infrequent simple verbal prompting.  I do not give him a task and then walk away.  He's nowhere near ready for that.  Many of Mark's tasks are designed with this independence in mind and don't really give him, or me, much room for physical prompting.  Ok, maybe they could but since it's an absolute no-no in my mind it just doesn't happen. 

In my mind, if I assist him physically, then I am the one answering the question or doing the task - not Mark.  And Mark's behavior when he tries to get me to physically prompt him only reinforces this view.  Mark only reaches for my hand to physically prompt when he continually gets an answer wrong or does a task wrong.  Instead I will verbally prompt him.  Or I will show him the task separately and have him do it independently.  But truthfully, typically, Mark wants physical prompts only when he doesn't want to do a task or is being lazy.  And while it's painfully slow going, he is beginning to realize that I won't physically prompt and that laziness only makes the task harder.  While this stretches my patience some, I realize that I am trying to undo over 7 years worth of behavior training.  So my patience stretches and we get through the tasks.  His patience stretches, he tantrums, and we get through the tasks.  I think we are both getting extensive lessons in patience.  :-)

My normal response to slow going tasks is to find a new angle or new way to teach it.  That way we can keep moving.  But this is just one of those things that will take time. 

On the fun front, I made Mark a mini geoboard.  It's square and only 6 inches by 6 inches.  The pegs are an inch apart and I give him the small, small, small rubber bands to use with it.  It's great for finger coordination between the first fingers and thumbs.  Sometimes the second fingers get involved.  And in his mind, it's all play.  It's two sided and we have playing rules.  On the first side he can only put one rubber band between the same two pegs, and he has to do angles as well as straight lines.  When he's done most of the board, I flip it and the second side it complete free play.  Which for Mark means that it's all straight lines with lots of rubber bands on each set of pegs.  Regardless, his fingers are getting better at coordinating together and this is showing in handwriting.