Incidental Learning

Munchkin has been doing a lot of incidental learning the last few months.  Or I should probably say years.  But it's really showing the last few months.

One of the big things he's discovered is how others feel, and the desire to do something about it.  For him that is a massive step.  The example I'll use is the one that made me "open my eyes" to what was happening.

I was having a rough day because I had a headache.  Munchkin wanted to pounce me and had followed me to the kitchen to do so.  I stopped him by putting my hand out and saying "No.  I have a headache."  I've taken to adding explanations to my statements because I realized that Munchkin understood some of them.  What he did next truly stunned me.  He promptly turned around and went throughout the house turning off all the lights.  Every. Single. Light.  Then he came and gave me a hug and went back to the living room to watch his movie.

Now, the lights weren't the headache trigger for me.  But they are a headache trigger for him.  And if you have a child with autism you know what big leaps he showed in those actions.  And  I talked with him a little bit later about what he could do to help mommy with her headache.  I supposed that I really shouldn't be amazed that he heard (and processed) what I said and tried to do it.  But I am.  He tried to be quiet for the rest of the night.  And when he'd get noisy, he'd stop himself after a few minutes, look at me and say "quiet" in his quiet voice and go back to being quiet.  He got so many extra hugs for the trying.

I don't know how often that knowledge will connect for him but so far it's connected rather frequently.  He has tried to help calm a crying baby that he knows.  He has given hugs when someone seems upset.  He is making connections to those around him.  And even more importantly, he is coming to comprehend that others feel differently than he does.

Now that was incidental learning that I had very little to do with.  Munchkin learned that all on his own.  But recently we had a situation which is helping me to teach him about the weather.  And teach him in a manner that he truly understands what he is learning.

One day he was upset and crying in his room on the floor.  Not a tantrum or a meltdown, just an I'm upset/hurt type of crying.  Since he had done this the day before as well, and I hadn't been able to figure out the cause, I stopped what I was doing immediately and just went and sat down in his room.  I waited for him to acknowledge that I was there and give me signs that he wanted to communicate.  When he did I asked him a few yes/no questions. 

It really helps that yes/no are pretty solid (in one form or another) nowadays.  When he is upset he will use the words.  Within a few minutes I had discovered that he wanted to go outside to play and thought he couldn't.  He hadn't been able to play outside when he wanted over the last few days because the weather had either been too cold or rainy.  He really wanted to play outside.  Playing outside is his way of burning off excess energy and frustration.  Anyways, I told him that he could go outside and got the "really" look.  So I took the time to explain "weather" to him. 

I explain "weather" regularly if I tell him he can't go outside  But apparently this was just the perfect situation for it to truly sink in and for him to be interested in learning more.  So we went outside and I explained more.  I kept it toddler simple for now and he seemed to really be hearing what I was saying and processing it.  So, since the door is open, I will keep reviewing the basics whenever we go outside.  And when he's gotten a good grasp on that, I'll see about adding in lessons on the appropriate clothes for different types of weather.

I think that the science lessons on observing things are helping in both these things.  While I've been focusing on teaching him to pay attention to how things feel/taste/smell/look, he's been using that for more than his lessons.  Which I find interesting because I wasn't sure that he was getting much out of those lessons.  Apparently he is, he just isn't showing it in the lessons.  I really don't know why that surprises me anymore.

Well I'm off to see what other things he can learn while not letting me know that he's learning them.  It will be interesting to see what happens in the future.